Venting Much?

For the past weeks of school. I've been trying VERY hard to be make myself happy and being myself. But really I'm not.. If you guys think I wasn't sad at once at school then dam. I'm a good actor.

Dude I think I actually have some issues about life and its like bugging the hell out of me. Like I'm trying to understand why the heck I don't got the same feeling that I had last year. And I'm trying to understand why i hate being at home and rather to be school? *No issues with the parents btw) What the heck? I don't understand why i've been swearing a lot in school and not hanging out with my old friends as I did before. Did like the wrestling camp took the life out of me or something?!?!. I feel like im not even the same Deirman than i knew before. Im mentally getting weaker and weaker now and like I thought I'm like the happiest person there is??!?! Where the heck did it all go.. Home is not the place to be when your in my position.. Having no one to talk to you. Is there some type of reason why this happen to me? . Its basically boring... I believe that I'm starting to have no social life?? but the weird this is when I'm at school im starting to lose touch on what i had before. Well pretty gay because now i don't even talk to my so call bestfriend S____ maybe because she has her hands full with her boyfriend? but why blame her though maybe shes having a ACTUALLY better life than me? I FEEL LIKE CRAP RIGHT NOW WHY IS THAT? I shouldn't be hiding this feeling right now but im sorry that i never really tell anyone about this because I sometime keep my emotions to myself. I just need someone to talk to -.- hella desperate... I know. Well the other weird thing is im not even sad im just irritated?! ugh what ever. Don't worry about me guys I'm just emotional sick and i guess i need time to think about what I'm doing to myself. I'll try to make myself feel better everyday. Just need someone to talk to make me feel better..